Romance in the Deep Blue Sea: A Tale of Luuurve!
by Moonbeam's Predilections
Summary: Attractive female sea monster seeks mate. Must be big and strong, able to defend our territory. Bioluminescence a plus. Apply within... Humourous Ficlet


Author's Notes:  Inspired by (but not related to) Diena's hilarious series of "God, This Place Is Boring When We're Not Chasing Sea Monsters" shorts posted on her LiveJournal, I hereby present a short story from the other half of the equation. ::snigger::

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"Romance in the Deep Blue Sea: A tale of luuurve!"

Written by: Beatrice, the Sea Monster                                                                 Transcribed by: Moonbeam

The first time I saw him, I wasn't sure what to make of him. He was large, and swift, and strong -- all favorable in my opinion -- but he was also terribly rude.  

The first time I saw him, he was entering my territory acting all tough and posturing like any male, flashing his bioluminescent scales in a startling display. I shrank back from him at first, fearing an attack. He was, after all, larger than me. And a male. They do tend to be violent creatures; so my territory or not, discretion did seem to be the best option. Except he didn't do anything! He certainly didn't attack, he merely floated there in the water glittering like a million deep sea lantern fish. It was actually quite pretty, I found, the longer I looked at it.

Which is when I realized he was not threatening me, but attempting to attract me as his mate! Well, I'll be! I was, of course, positively _flattered_. I mean, wouldn't you be? Look at him! He's so huge and protective, fiercely defending his territory from intruders both big and small... and yet here he was gently flirting with me.  I was touched, truly. 

Mind you, he's not exactly what I would have expected of a mate. He doesn't really look much like me (or anyone I've ever seen), and he doesn't always listen very well -- but then that's a male for you.  He is, as I said, rather good at protecting our territory though. 

And really, he does grow on you.  Yes, he's often noisy -- incomprehensibly noisy, sometimes. (It must be a male thing, I believe, that he feels compelled to emit such ridiculous sounds at the oddest of times. He's just trying to get attention, I'm sure. ::snort:: And they call females vain! Pshaw!) But, oh, he's got such a wonderful touch! Every now and then, when he's feeling especially affectionate, he releases his tentacles to brush softly against my hide.  Their tips glow brightly, warm in the cool ocean, tickling me sweetly wherever they touch me. Oooh! It's so romantic... 

A-hem! Sorry, my apologies. Got distracted there. You know how it is, ladies, don't you? ::chuckles, then glares:: Oi, now! Really, dear, what a dirty mind you have! Alright, that's enough out of you. If you want one, go find you own. This one's mine and I'm not sharing. Hmpf!

(But he is wonderful, isn't he, dearie? I wish you all the luck in finding a mate as good as my beloved.) 

Now, what were we talking about again? Ah, yes -- my mate is strange, true, but he does have his good points.  And those more than make up for his many shortcomings.

Why just last week, while I was searching for the perfect place to build our nest, my mate (who'd been off doing his male duty of defense) snuck up behind me.  Now, I was very busy testing the rocky face of a nice deep trench, looking for a place soft enough to dig a hole without caving in the entire wall. I wasn't having any luck though, which was terribly disappointing. The trench was perfect! Just the right size to fit us snugly, just the right depth and temperature to nurture our young, just the right shape to shelter them as they grow.  Yet I could not break through the rock! 

Which is where my loving mate comes in. As I said, while I was otherwise occupied, he'd returned from patrolling our territory and was stealthily hovering right behind me.  I never even heard him approach! (Just going to prove he does know how to be quiet -- when he's not acting like a child! ::smiles fondly::) Then all of a sudden, he lit up all of his lights and shone them directly on me. Why, I jumped in surprise and whirled in a fright, ready to fight for my life! His little joke on me, I suppose.  I was angry enough to kill him when I recognized it was my own mate who'd scared me. He redeemed himself a moment later though.

My dear sweet, overly playful mate dug out the most beautiful nest for me in just moments! He shot two of his defensive darts right past me toward the wall of the trench I'd just been pawing at in frustration. I followed the trail of the powerful weapons curiously, somewhat nervous of them passing so close to my own body. But my mate's aim is superb (if a little pretentious -- he was showing off again, you see) and the darts struck true. Now, you might wonder what good throwing a little spike at a wall of rock is going to do, might'n you? If so, you've never seen my mate's darts! Their small, but pack a powerful punch! Just one can completely decimate an opponent, and he fired _two_ at the trench.  They charged in fast and smacked with such force one right after the other that they burrowed deep into the rock. I had to wave a tentacle to clear the dirt mixed up by the collision, but as soon as visibility returned I almost wept in joy. 

Right where I'd wanted it, my mate had used his weapons to form the ideal cavern from which to rear our young.  It was deep and curved inward to softly cradle our brood. It was also just big enough for me to squeeze into and block the entrance from any predators who might make it past my mate's protection. Not that I believed any would! My mate was marvellous! And he'd done such a wonderful job burrowing our nest! I was so happy, I couldn't resist giving him a full-body hug in gratitude.

(And ladies... ::giggle:: Big tough macho male that he was, he blushed and squealed in my grasp like an inexperienced youth. He's so cute!)

Anyway, with the nest built and ready to go, I've been spending the past few days eating anything I can catch.  Gotta store up the energy, you know.  Gonna be busy for the next few months tending the eggs, then taking care of the young hatchlings. This will be my first brood, so I'm a bit nervous -- wondering if I'll make a good mother. I'm not really worried about my mate though: I'm sure the children will just adore him, since he acts just like one sometimes. Now, now... that's just the nerves talking. Really, I'm sure he'll be a very good father, just as attentive and protective of his young as he is of me.

But speaking of attentive, where has my blasted mate gone to now? It's about time he fulfilled another of his male duties...

After all, these eggs aren't going to be made all on their own, are they? ::wink::

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The End. 


End file.
